KOBOZ Championship Day Speech 2018

11:00 AM 12-23-2018: on board the USS Minnesota

Admiral BigGun, Commander, Lake Lida Dreadnaughts brings in Thomas J. Whitmore to address the team: 

Good morning.

In less than an hour, players from our bench will join others from the waver wire, and you will be launching the largest Naval battle in the history of KOBOZ.

“KOBOZ.”

That word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united against Chris and the “non-users of the wheel-of-destiny Dread Pirates”, and no less than the result of the entire season is on the line.

Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Twenty-Third of December, and you will once again be fighting in the KOBOZ Championship game, and for FREEDOM… Not just from tyranny, oppression, or persecution from other teams who have relentlessly ridiculed us for not winning the big game, … but most importantly, from 2018 post season annihilation.

We are fighting for our right to win.

The right to survive.

The right to finally hold the American Grey Cup and place it high upon our mantle where it will shower us with much deserved glory.

And should we win the game, the Twenty-Third of December will no longer be known as some random day between Thanksgiving and New Years that no one gives a crap about… but as the day the underdog  Dreadnaughts declared in one voice:

“We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive!

Today, We Celebrate Our KOBOZ CHAMPIONSHIP DAY!”